I have been on twitter for almost three years now, using various forms of social media for almost four, and find myself negotiating a complicated love/loathe relationship with it.
Love – the people I’ve met – many ultimately in person- all of whom my life is richer for knowing. Love – its promise of common denominator accessibility. Love – its can’t be beat information super-highway.
Detest – behavior that is lauded in social media that in real life – say at a cocktail party- would alienate you from everyone in the room. This behavior comes in many a not so pretty variety.
I was reminded of one of these varieties by yesterday’s article in the NY Times about chef’s who use twitter to blast other chefs – and in so doing break an unspoken rule that chef’s do not ever publicly criticize their colleagues. In other words, in social media mature adult behavior goes the way of cowardice and kindergarten. And on twitter, over and over, that kind of behaviour is not only accepted, it’s celebrated.
Oh grow up, you say? Haters are part of the Internet culture. Well…. a culture that celebrates nastiness, dishonesty and hate in the name of entertainment is a culture that might in turn flock to leaders and media personalities whose interests lie not in truth and integrity – but Popularity. Who can be certain that as long as they kowtow to our never ending desire to absolve ourselves of our own feelings of inadequacy and fear by spewing hate at an “other” – and who cater to our desire to luxuriate in the lack of personal responsibility that is Victim-hood, they will be followed, their words will be quoted (re-tweeted, if you will) they will gain power, they will become a celebrity.
That is a dangerous world. It is a world I will not support by pushing “follow”.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post Kathryn. Thank you for shining a light on this issue, it is so very needed.
When you have such a powerful opportunity to do good, it’s unfortunate sometimes the culture of the Internet and the immediacy of the send button, catapults insults into cyberspace, faster than a speeding bullet, and cannot be undone.
Feedback in the form of glib snark, and often, just down right nastiness, by welcoming judgment without refrain doesn’t further the conversation, but only alienates people from the power of these platforms.
Power comes in embracing Individuality and differences of opinion and worldview. By not exhibiting manners (lacking a better term here) a mess is created, not only for the individual but also for any companies involved in managing their online presence.
Bloggers have ruled the conversation by intimidation, lacking much of any filter, and ignoring or drowning out voices that may be small, but have important things to say.
If someone disagrees, they are quickly unfriended or unfollowed, or worse, ganged up on by a community of folks who may or may not be seeking to further their own agenda. All too often, I’ve seen this result in a missed opportunity to listen and learn from another’s point of view.
When we evolve into a time when we can respect differences, engage manners, or some prominent situation/event sheds a light on this, perhaps change will take begin to emerge.
Until then, I plan to be the change I wish to see, and try to replace snark with the courage to embrace the differences and understand, and learn from others.
Selina! I think the real issue though is not the intimidators- but the followers. We support this behavior by idolizing those who blog by intimidation and who rule by clique. Is it just a latent desire to be a member of the long sought after “popular club”? Does it make us feel like we matter? It is a dangerous game, best played by kindergarteners.